Welcome to Remedial Malagasy

Well, I’ve never been in a remedial class before, but like they say, there’s a first time for everything and since Madagascar has already led to a lot of other first things, why not add this to the list.

What is Remedial Malagasy you might ask? On arriving to Mahajunga, our language teachers changed up our pre-existing language groups and sorted them by skill. There’s the top Malagasy group, comprised of people who have really taken to the language. They use it when ordering food at restaurants, cracking jokes with the teachers and their host families and teaching each the other Malagasy all-stars Malagasy songs. Sometimes we resent them. Middle Malagasy is comprised of the people who have had some struggles picking up the language, but are still progressing at an average rate. And then we have remedial Malagasy. Remedial Malagasy is the lowest Malagasy language class. It’s composed of six members of our group who have completely failed at learning the Malagasy language, and I am one of them. Sometimes in class we look at picture cartoons and point out the things of which we know the Malagasy words. These are very few. Most of the time is spent speaking in hushed English while our language teacher yells “Tsy miteny Anglais!” (Don’t speak English) and we respond with “Tsy Mazava” (I don’t understand) and continue to speak in English. It’s really kind of pathetic. What might even been sadder is the collection of words we have picked up. This list is very short so I will write it here:

Saka – Cat
Alika – Dog
Tsy Mazava – I don’t understand
Vary – Rice
Loaka – Everything that isn’t rice (yes, that’s actually it’s meaning. I hope this clarifies the extent to which these people eat rice…)
Sambo – Boat
Betay – One who poops after dinner
Matory – To sleep
Mihinina – To eat
Tsy malala fomba – You have no manners
Mangainga – Lier
Nuna – Boobs
Mafana – hot

So as you might imagine, our conversations are kind of limited and incredibly impractical. Today our teacher asked us to make full question sentences and ask them to each other. Here was Mike’s and my conversation:

Michelle: Manana firy saka ianoa? (How many cats do you have?)
Mike: Tsy manana saka aho (I don’t have any cats.)
Mike: Manana firy sambo ianao? (How many boats do you have?)
Michelle: Diman zato (500)
Michelle: Mianana mafana be goddamn etu ? (Why is it so goddamn hot here?)
Mike: *Searches limited Malagasy répertoire* A cause du soleil… (French: Because of the sun)
Hanta (langague prof): MITENY MALAGASY! (Speak in Malagasy!)
Mike: Comment dit-on “soleil”? (French: How do you say sun?)
Hanta: Masoandro, c’est les yeux de le jour (Sun, it means the eyes of the day)
Michelle (to Mike): They translated sun to be eyes of the day… seriously?
Mike: Culturally inappropriate response that I will not transcribe.
Michelle: Another culturally inappropriate response that I will not transcribe.
Both of us: Inappropriateword this language.

And that, is remedial Malagasy.